OKAY  haven't been around in a bit, hoping to travel alot this summer, and yes take pictures.  added a few more pics for all you freaks, hope you like.

you ever listen to a song

and you picture a freeze frame of an image you have perfectly in your mind

or a moment and you remember all the details, smells, emotions, colors yada yada

and then you catch yourself sitting there with a huge ass smile on your face and realize you are smiling at only a memory so you feel like even more of a fag and smile even bigger.

                           yup. that was pretty much my highlight of today.

                              oh and finding 2 pennies that i KNEW were there but at the same time didn't. not 1 but 2. oooo i'm back to freaking myself out instead of denying it

i wish i could learn to speak binary.

111001010101110110.    pretty much so uncool that it's cool.

i. think i'm going to start working for the pornshoe company again. 35 bucks an hour. i'll have my phone paid off insanely fast. hopefully. i mean, i come up on cash, and lately. it's been even easier but i can't just have money. knawmean?

 

it's time for me to grow up. i cant hold onto youth anymore :(

do yourself a favor go to the mosiac this friday my babyboys are playing a show. thanks.

dear 2008, work with me this year cause another year like last years and niether the forgotten or the pain will be far from my daily thoughts but this time it's one day at a time and being less than perfect is still okay. and, i hope that this year can be a chance to share with people words or my way to keep happy, even when im sad, so that the next year the people who spend everyday knowing things could be worse. i know i use that saying too often but atleast this way people know nothing gets better till i make it. help me not to use hate as a drive to do good but a present i want to give myself of my life back that is over due. oh ya p.s. i hope you are faster than shit because . the faster the days go the more i'll spread good kharma and the more crap i'll take responsibilty for to save people who deserve a sweet friend p.s.s. summer keep it semi cool cause my make up runs when its hott outside and we both want to look cute ish not racoon eyed like. p.s.s.s. help me find my way so i dont leave california im counting on eery day to make a difference so i dont leave my beautiful home state i learned all i know in. i found out the person i am living here and do not care to leave because i was brought from dallas by fate. maybe... okay i need to buy a camera because i really only want to take pictures and know i would stay out of harms way. if you want to give me a camera, don't. they get stolen no matter how much i keep them close to me or how well i know someone being a factor in people looking at my pictures or not, never works. it pisses me off so much that i love making photography for journal purposes, since my memory is fucked. and everyone else just thinks i slut it up on camera all day but to do something i like to dowithout anyone around or trying to critic my work because they think it's too much skin to be appropreiate. f it man it took me my family telling me my whole childhood that i was too much of a meany and no matter who said different from them, they were pissed cause they are ugly inside and the people who avoid friendly conversation are just like me but without people telling them if they are worth something. i guess ya they say im dumb, ya i did make stupid decisions like some people do in the family and don't go reaching to other Jones' for help like me, so how come being strong in vocalizing my oppinion and being pampered and spoiled by people, [or munipulating those around me] was a sock to the face STILL. i mean, i already spent weeks trying to be adult and stuff like everyone says to be, but that sucks cause the mature people i have seen the past 2 weeks are more self destructive then me, angry, stressed, and very negative people who bring anyone down with them. im not a pity party kinda gal unless im too drunk for life. but thats rare i miss my computer and once i get a job and paid, im making sure i get my hard drive, back up space, my printer and paper, before i get any clothes or tattoo's........ ok well maybe some tattoo's first... grrr too much too think about and the little sleep i can get in one night, always sucks dingleberry's. make me stop having nightmares that i will go back to people who hurt me because i dont know what else to do. i know myself by now and if i dont stay scared of being a heartbroken person all the time p.s. nightmares are nothing compared to my heart beat that is either so slow its painfull or too fast and i have to hope i dont have a anxiety attack. i got sober and thought i was going to be healthy not